"SAD's most recent health report, "Sugar: Are We Getting Enough?" advocates adding sugar to the drinking water supply. They claim it'll encourage kids to drink more water and help them get over their soda addiction."

One of the simple diversions that I enjoy is to prowl the Internet's many diet and weight loss oriented web sites and message boards. These sites are a good way to keep my finger on the pulse of the latest trends in weight loss and fitness. They also provide insight into the questions and issues on people's mind concerning their struggles and triumphs. One of my favorite types of sites to visit, are those with a resident "expert" who takes questions from the audience. Sometimes there's actually useful information to be found in these exchanges, but more often than not, the advice is the same old recycled propaganda that I followed, with little success, for over a decade. Here then, is a slightly exaggerated parody of what these sessions sometimes look and "sound" like, with a different perspective, as a counterpoint to the expert.

Dr. Jeffrey Kluless, Ph.D, Ab.C, D.E., F.G.
Hello again, this is Dr. Jeffrey Kluless. I'm here to take your questions and help each one of you reach your weight loss goals. I'd like to thank all of our participants in advance and I'm happy to announce that this week's prize in our random drawing is a case of Soyola, the new fat burning cooking oil we've been hearing so much about. So let's take our first question.

Kate in Dallas: Hi Dr. Kluless. I saw you on that talk show last year. You came on after the 600 pound guy and before the woman with the eating disorder who stole candy from babies. I've been overweight for most of my adult life. Anyway, I took your advice and went on a diet. I did what you said and ate only low-fat foods -- protein bars, tofu burgers, rice cakes and salads, lots of salads. Well I lost 40 pounds, but I was tired all the time. I had headaches. I yelled at my kids and I couldn't concentrate at work. When the holidays came around, my coworkers started bringing candy and pastries into the office. I just couldn't help myself. Well wouldn't you know it, I gained back the 40 pounds, plus 20 more. I was depressed for a while, but now I'm ready to try it again. Can you give me any tips?

Dr. Kluless: Hi Kate. Congratulations on the weight loss. Forty pounds. Wow, that's wonderful. You know Kate, losing weight is a lifelong journey. Sometimes we take a wrong turn, but it's just as easy to find our way back to our own personal path as it was to lose our way. Here's what I want you to do. First, get my new book, The Dr. Kluless Guide To Losing the Weight You Thought You Lost the First Time. You see Kate, you're not alone. I wrote this book because there are thousands; no millions of people out there just like you who are going through exactly the same thing. In my book, you'll see how to modify your diet by reducing your fat intake and eating delicious foods like protein bars, tasty tofu, yummy rice cakes and salads, lots of wonderful salads. You did it before Kate and you can do it again. Hang in there.

TheTruth:Uh, Dr. It sounds like you just gave Kate the same advice that failed her the last time. Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Would you keep taking your car back to the same mechanic if it kept breaking down after he "fixed" it? Why is it ok to follow the same flawed diet plan every time you regain the weight you lost? Wouldn't it be better for Kate to try something a little different this time? I mean look at what she's eating? Her diet doesn't seem very energy dense or satisfying. There have been a number of studies that link low fat dieting to the behavior she describes: irritability, headaches, fatigue and failure. The fact that she was tempted by the holiday treats suggests that her diet wasn't meeting her needs.

Dr. Kluless: Hey, who is this? I didn't see your name on my monitor. Looks like we've got another hacker in the system people. While Ed, my engineer, works to get this guy off our board, let's not let this interruption prevent us from helping each other reach our goals. If he comes on again, just ignore whatever he writes. Ok, let's take another question.

Sharon in San Diego: Good evening Dr., I'm an endocrinologist and an obesity researcher with the Kettering Institute of Wellness. I was directed to your site by an associate. I've reviewed your book, Get Thin and Win without Fat. I must tell you that there have been a number of studies published in prestigious medical journals over the last five years that directly challenge the notion that the one size fits all low-fat solution works for every segment of the population. You should also know that not all fats are bad for you. In fact, we would all do well to include some good saturated fat from plant and animal sources into our diet. An unbiased review of the available disease and nutrition data for the last century shows a marked decline in whole natural foods and a corresponding increase in the consumption of highly refined processed foods along with an increase in disease. I don't want to take up any more of your time, but if you provide an email address, I can forward sources for my information and the research that we're currently doing that is changing the way we look at diet and disease.

Dr. Kluless: Well there you have it folks. This is what I talk about in my column. Anybody can claim to be an expert, but you don't need to be a doctor to know that Sharon is one of those alternative medicine types with crazy ideas about how you can heal yourself with food. Look, I don't mean to be harsh, but it's important for all of you to understand just how dangerous people like this are. Sharon is clearly ignorant of the prevailing medical opinion that saturated fat and cholesterol causes heart disease. It proves you just can't believe what you see on the Internet.

TheTruth: Actually Dr., there is no conclusive evidence that saturated fat causes heart disease. Neither the Seven Countries Study by Ancel Keys, if critically evaluated, nor the Framingham heart Study supports this view. You fail to recognize that heart disease is a fairly recent illness, that up until about the 1920s, was a rare disorder. Humans have been consuming saturated plant and animal fat for thousands of years prior to the twentieth century. As for cholesterol, half the people who have heart attacks have cholesterol levels that are supposedly normal. If dietary cholesterol causes heart disease, how is this possible? The fact is sir, is that despite the lack of evidence to support the diet/heart hypothesis, many in the medical establishment have forged ahead on the faith of their convictions and the value of their pharmaceutical industry holdings. Finally, regarding the Internet, I agree with your point about not believing what you see as I find your views on nutrition rather unbelievable.

Dr Kluless: Well, looks like our hacker is really an amateur medical quack or should I say quacker :) There must be a full moon out tonight. As you all know, I've cited numerous studies that point to fat and cholesterol as two of the primary causes of heart failure. I'll not take up our valuable time rehashing that information, as I believe you all already know how ridiculous the claims of Mr. Truth are. Next question.

Cecil in Baltimore: Doc, a guy I work with used to be kinda sickly, but in the last year he's turned into some kinda health nut. He looks ten years younger! He told me about a book he read by some guy named Weston Price. Have you heard of this guy Price? He was a doctor who traveled around the world back in the '30s. He discovered that primitive people who stopped eating traditional foods and switched to modern foods got bad teeth afterward. They also got sick more often and their kids were totally screwed up. I'm talking worse tooth decay than my cousin Larry who used to work in the Hershey plant. What about this guy?

Dr. Kluless: Cecil, Price is really just a footnote in history and he was a dentist. He wasn't very scientific in his methods and he's been discredited. Next question.

TheTruth: Kluless, Dr. Price's work is even more relevant today than it was over 70 years ago. In the traditional societies he studied, he found that tooth decay was almost nonexistent. He found that deficiencies in our modern diet, brought about by the consumption of negative nutrient foods like refined flour and sugar have exposed multiple generations to disease and physical degeneration. No one who reads his book, Nutrition and Physical Degeneration, can come away without being profoundly affected by the enormity of his findings. Fortunately, he doesn't just identify the problem, he also identifies a solution based on sound nutritional science that anyone can implement today to improve their health.

Dr Kluless: I don't know about you people, but I'm ready to send Ed, my engineer, packing if he doesn't do something about these interruptions.

Bob in Arizona: Hi Dr. Kluless. Thanks for taking my question. You're great. I read your column all the time. I've been trying to follow the new 2005 Dietary Guidelines, but it's hard. I'm a pretty big guy. I've been reading your book, Ten Tempting Tofu Treats -- watching my fat and trying to eat right, but sometimes I go off my diet and order a pizza or I'll drink sodas at work. The real problem is that I'm having trouble keeping up with the exercise guidelines of 60 - 90 minutes a day. I tried taking the stairs at work, like you suggested in your column, but I only made it halfway before I collapsed. I was breathing so hard and my heart was beating, I thought I was gonna die. How am I supposed to exercise that long? It doesn't make sense.

Dr. Kluless: Bob, congratulations on taking the first steps :) to better health. First thing to remember is that the 2005 guidelines were put together by a panel of experts. Believe me, I know they're tough, but these new guidelines were designed to be tough to get people off the couch. Here's what you can do, Bob. Start small. Remember, you can walk a mile with small steps too. Why don't you try parking your car farther from the door at the office and then take only one or two flights of stairs. You can catch the elevator on whatever floor you make it to. Keep trying this and before long, you'll find you can make it all the way up to your office. Remember, a little bit now goes a long way later. Hope that helps Bob. Hang in there.

TheTruth: Hey doc. It sounds like exercise, as the point of focus, may not be the best thing for Bob right now. Maybe it would have been better to suggest he get his diet in order first. For example, low-fat foods supplemented with pizza and soda may make it impossible for him to get into a state of mind or body to take on exercise. When you're a "big guy" sometimes, attempts at exercise too soon in your effort only serve to defeat you. Regarding the 2005 guidelines, shouldn't they be focused on diet instead of exercise? How about some meaningful advice on reducing sugar in our diets? How about declaring war on soda? Shouldn't these guidelines be giving us better information about the foods we should and shouldn't be eating? Why are spending so much time talking about the quantity of food and ignoring the issue of quality?

Dr. Kluless: Looks like, you know who, is still horning in on our program. Ignore him folks. By the way, studies show that exercise is the best way to manage your weight and as for food, there's no such thing as good and bad foods. Calories in, calories out is all that matters. Enough said.

Ed tells me he's closing in on tracking down this know-it-all who presumes to know more than me. Ok, let's take another question.

Janet in Yuma: Hello Dr. Kluless. I just want to know what to eat. I'll follow any plan. I got your book, The Kluless Guide to Cooking, but I'm not good at following what's in a book. I need somebody to keep me on track Doctor. What should I do? Help!

Dr Kluless: Help is why I'm here Janet. Have you considered seeing an Accredited Dietarian? Go to my web site. I have a section there where you can find a dietarian in your area. You could also see a nutritionist of course, but I recommend you see a dietarian because they're accredited and approved by the Society of Accredited Dietarians, a well respected health organization.

TheTruth: Janet and the rest of the audience might benefit from knowing that the Society of Accredited Dietarians (SAD) receives 70 percent of their funding from CrapKo Foods, Inc. They're the makers of FunFoods, also known as "diabetes in a box": those prepackaged horrors of fructose, MSG and sugar that are now part of the school lunch program. SAD's most recent health report, "Sugar: Are We Getting Enough?" advocates adding sugar to the drinking water supply. They claim it'll encourage kids to drink more water and help them get over their soda addiction. The other 30 percent of SAD's funding comes from Kraven Inc., makers of a toxic sugar substitute that's been banned in Europe, the Carbonated Bottlers Association and Colde-Kashe Pharmaceuticals, makers of Nsulentria, an expensive synthetic insulin marketed for children with Type-2 diabetes.

Dr Kluless: I refuse to respond to such groundless insinuations. Next question.

Marcia in Los Angeles: Hi Dr. Well, I was going to ask you what you thought about that new cooking oil, Soyola, but I want to follow up on what that hacker guy said instead. You say there's no such thing as good or bad foods and calories are all that matters. If that's true, does that mean I can eat Toasted Sugar'Os for breakfast, the ones with no added sugar, a Big Slurp soda with baked fries for lunch, and maybe have some of those deep fried reduced fat Chicken Bits from The Plucky Chicken for dinner?

Dr Kluless: Now Marcia, I think you know that's not what I meant. You've got to have balance in your diet. Where're the fruits and vegetables? Now there's nothing wrong with any of the foods you mentioned since they're all low fat, but I wouldn't recommend eating them to the exclusion of fruits and vegetables. The 2005 guidelines specifically call for an increase in the amount of fruits and vegetables we should eat. That's the problem I believe as far as diet goes. We're eating too much fat and not enough fruits and vegetables.

TheTruth: Actually Dr., in 1997, Americans, on average, consumed 57 pounds more fruit and 87 pounds more vegetables than they did in 1970. Consumption of animal fat in the form of red meat declined by 21 pounds while consumption of, mostly refined grains in processed food, increased by 65 pounds. Sugar increased by 32 pounds and polyunsaturated fats and oils increased by 14 pounds. These data come from the USDA Food Consumption, Prices, and Expenditures report for the period between 1970 and 1997. While you're correct in noting we should reduce our consumption of fat, you neglected to note which kind of fat we should reduce and which fats we should actually increase. We're already eating more fruits and vegetables and yet, heart disease is still the number one killer. Do you really think giving outdated advice that differs little from what we were told more than thirty years ago will help people?

Dr Kluless: Now see here you! I've had enough! I don't know who you think you are, but you can't just barge in here and throw around a bunch of unproven numbers & I'm a doctor! I wrote a book! Several books! I've been dealing with the issues of the overweight and obese and treating these people for more than 10 years. What are your qualifications!? This is the last time I respond to your amateur drivel and I encourage all of my fans out there to ignore you as well. Ed, do something about this guy!

Ok, I think we have another question here. Oh, it's about that new cooking oil, Soyola.

Wayne in Fort Wayne: Hey Dr. it's Wayne from Fort Wayne. Hey, is it true? Are we really eating 57 pounds more fruit and 87 pounds more vegetables than in 1970? I don't get it. That sounds pretty healthy to me. Where's all this obesity and heart disease coming from then?

Dr Kluless: Wayne. My monitor says your question was supposed to be about Soyola! No matter. The report what's-his-name referred to is like so many reports, based on surveys, it is inherently flawed because people don't always tell the truth. They lie Wayne. They say they eat more fruits and vegetables when in fact they're stuffing themselves with fat, fat, fat! You can't trust people like that Wayne. That's why they're fat bekaus - because they're bad people Wayne. Can't you understand that! NOW DO YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT SOYOLA OR NOT!? ED!!

Dr Kluless: I'm sorry. I apologize for that outburst. All of this amazing technology we have and yet, we're still vulnerable to the terrorist activities of a vicious hacker &

Good news people. Ed has just informed me that they've found the problem and have locked out our intruder. We won't be hearing from him again. Now about Soyola. I'm sure you've seen the promotional spots in the newspaper and on television for this new oil, Soyola. In the spirit of disclosure, I must tell you that I was part of the team that conducted a six week study on this breakthrough miracle oil that promises to provide a new weapon in the fight against obesity. Our study showed that over a six week period, subjects who consumed Soyola as their primary cooking oil lost, on average, 50 percent more weight than subjects using regular cooking oil. The subjects in the Soyola group also showed improvement in cholesterol levels too, an added bonus. Ah, I see we have a question.

Tricia in D.C.: Hi Dr. Kluless. I wanted to know &.

TheTruth: Dr. In the spirit of full disclosure, shouldn't you also tell the readers that you are practically a paid employee of GenetiFoods, the company that makes Soyola? From 1993 through 2004, you received approximately $1,855,000 from GenetiFoods for speaking engagements, as a patient recruiter for their studies, an advisor on various company sponsored panels and for being a key spokesman for a number of their studies. In addition, you own 20,000 shares of GenetiFoods stock and are a silent partner in a privately owned GenetiFoods publishing subsidiary.

The study you cite did show improvements of 50 percent in the Soyola group, but in real numbers, that only amounted to an average of 2 pounds of lost weight over a six week period. In fact, the study lasted for 12 weeks, but by then 65 percent of the men in the Soyola group had dropped out of the study due to stomach problems, breast enlargement and reductions in testosterone production.

Dr Kluless:

Shaggy from Chicago: $1,855,000!!! Man, that's some serious ka'ching! What a racket. Hey doc, you need an assistant? A driver, you know, somebody to run and get pizza for you? Well, I can't do the pizza thing right now unless it's walking distance cause my license is still suspended and I got a court date coming up, but I &

Ed: KlulessSolutions.com apologizes for any inconvenience, but Dr. Kluless had another appointment so we're signing off a little early this week. He'll be back next week to help you reach your &. wate, wait - weight loss goals.

TheTruth: People, the experts can site study after study until they're blue in the face or they exercise their stock options, but the fact is that you need useful advice now. If you're not lucky enough to have a medical services provider who is actually helping you gain health independence as opposed to getting you strung out on more prescription drugs, you'll have to take action and help yourself. You've got to read, think and learn. Don't take my word for it. Find out for yourself. It's your life.

Shaggy from Chicago: Hey, what about that case of Soyola!?